“Shirley! Shirley! Wake up!” The blind woodchuck shook her cousin as hard as she could until her relative finally sat up and sleepily asked “Is it the Rapture?”
“No, you idiot, I need your password. The mouse streaming service stopped working.”
Shirley yawned hugely and sat up. “I told you I canceled that as a boycott when they took that TV guy off the air. I said you have eleven days to watch whatever you’re in the middle of and then it’s gone.”
“But I had to finish Love is Blind before I could go back to the Star Wars one. I have two episodes left… do they win the rebellion? I need to see what happens! Can’t you get it back?”
“That kind of defeats the idea of a boycott. Speaking of protests, are you ready for this weekend?”
The woodchuck sulked. “I’m not going.”
Shirley was incensed. “You told me if I took that improv class with you, you would come with me! Why are you reneging on your promise?”
“I have my reasons . . .” began the woodchuck when Shirley cut her off.
“Let’s do that thing we learned in the improv class and you can explain them to me: you start.”
“Um, well, for one thing, it’s going rain.”
“Yes, and . . .” Shirley interrupted. “We’ve been in a drought all summer. Rain will feel wonderful. Next?”
“It will be cold if we get wet!”
“Yes, and . . . the last time we did this it was about 100 degrees. Also, you’re wearing a fur coat.”
“What if I get hungry?”
“Yes, and . . . there will be dropped snacks all over.”
“You know I don’t like crowds!”
“Yes, and . . . we don’t have to be in the middle; we’ll stay on the outside of the masses.”
“I don’t have a sign!”
“Yes, and . . . you don’t have to have one; but I have cardboard and markers if you want to make one with your famous bubble letters.”
“Shirley . . .” the woodchuck paused for a long time, and then said in a small voice, “I’m afraid.”
“Oh, honey, Yes, and so am I. But we’ll hold each other’s paws and try to be brave together. Remember, we have friends everywhere, and they will be there with us.”
The woodchuck sighed and realized her cousin was right. For as many excuses as she had for not going to the No Kings March, she knew showing up was the most important thing.
As she uncapped the blue market to make a sign reading Welcome to the Rebelion, she teased Shirley, “Did you really think if there was a Rapture that you would be among the chosen to go?”
Shirley threw the red marker at her and said, “You spelled “rebellion” wrong!”
• • •
Yes, and . . . everyone has reasons why going to the No Kings March this Saturday, October 18 might be inconvenient or scary, but it’s very important. So pull on your inflatable Frog suit or T-Rex costume and join us!
• • •
The woodchuck has a new burrow! You can still hang around here with the other woodland animals, but the iguanas and the platypus have moved over to Substack, where they hope to reach millions of new readers and possibly amass a fortune in cicadas! (The woodchuck doesn’t really expect you to hand over your tasty bugs—she’s just hoping for new eyes to read about her adventures.) Look for her at The Blind Woodchuck on Substack.
theblindwoodchuck.com 